Imma Save You Some Time Right Quick:

Professionalism For My People Working in Todays Big Houses

Right now I want to reach out to my people who are new to working in professional environments—particularly those of us surrounded by individuals who have a “different” cultural sensitivity, which contributes greatly to the work culture. I have been the only black person in countless offices. The only brown face, in many a team meetings. The “Imma hold it down for my race” Queen. And let me tell ya. Wasn’t easy. And although initially, I had little appreciation for the challenge— in hindsight I see that it was largely what shaped me into the well formed and resilient woman I am now, in those same environments. After seeing a real life situation, including hurt feelings and confusion on the face of another African American, inside of this very lonely environment, I had to address a few things that I believe will lend a hand and offer a short cut.

Cutting through the thick of thin things to get to the real gusto. Because there is something to be said about working in these atmospheres that often times will include, being amongst a large amount of Caucasians. We come from a different emotional culture. It’s true. Some things we don’t trip about as black folk. And amongst ourselves, we generally vibe on a unique wavelength, so there aren’t many conversations we cannot have. We can “keep it real” and we don’t like to wear masks or be “fake”. If you don’t rock with someone, you just aren’t going to front like you do. But what about when that’s not the case? What about when you have to understand co-workers whom you are not familiar with, in a cultural sense. What about when we see through the societal conditioned filters of “race” and the stereotypes that come with that, and how do we resolve the disadvantages of our perceptions that arise, limiting our elevation in the workplace. Due to the attitude we carry, from seeing through those “shades”.

Well, in those instances, there are Universal Professional Etiquettes that can save us a lot of trouble. I’ve learned the hard way, so you don’t have to. Ultimately, we can learn a lot from being in these environments, if we will allow the experience to teach us. Here are 7 important keys to note, and I promise if you will implement them, I can guarantee it will save you all the trouble I wish I could have avoided. Walk with me...

#1. It’s a job: these are your work associates— stop trying to endear people to you by sharing your journey with anyone who will listen. The saying proves true: Familiarity breeds contempt. In life and at work— this is fact my beloveds. (Fast friends ARE NOT FRIENDS.)

#2. Privacy matters: Do not talk about, ask or infer about how much you or anyone else is getting paid. Hold back on sharing your business just because someone shared theirs with you. Some people are professional mask-wearers, and you don’t know who they will tell or what they really think about what you are sharing with them, until you’ve known them for quite some time. Again, leave money problems or money successes at home. (It’s unprofessional and again— these are not ya friends!)

#3. Read your audience: Do not insist on starting bubbly cheerful conversations with people who are not morning people, or when someone is rushing to finish a task. If you see someone is intent on writing or looking at their computer screen, that’s a sign my dear. It likely has little to nothing to do with your being black or new or anything other than They are busy. (Its called social cues... please, take all the hints.)

#4. Remember this acronym: NoPRR - No politics, race, religion— chats in the office. Yeah, if it’s the lunchroom, hey, help yourself, take the risk, hope it works out for ya. But talking about how Trump is the worst president in the history of America’s existence, may not go over well, since half the country voted for him. And that may not help you much when the game is all about building office allies. Nor should you complain about how Gays are taking over, or how abortion is not the way of the Lord, or how gentrification is destructive, and definitely don’t ask if he or she thinks Black Lives Matter.... no sir, and no ma’am. Not at work. Again, professional conversations only. This simply means you do not leave anyone feeling uncomfortable.

#5. Listen first. Be quiet second. And speak third. It is better to remain silent and thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. Too often we speak from emotion, not realizing that our moment of joy or anxiousness, will subside, and we will be faced with the words we spoke in that moment. If you have something of value to add to the conversation, go for it, we all love a good piece of Iyanla insight. But if your speaking from someone elses inspiration or frustration, wait on that and circle back.

#6. Leave your feelings at home. It’s business. If someone doesn’t say “Good morning” to you, you can carry that with you all day and ruin your life about it. Or you can stop saying good morning. Or you can say “Good Evening” instead. But what you should not do is tell yourself a whole saga about how XYZ doesn’t like you because your black, or entry level, or have nicer shoes than them, or whatever stories we tell ourselves. One thing is ONE THING ONLY. Treat it as such. Stop the stories we make up in our head to validate preconceived notions.

And finally.

#7. No matter how much someone likes your music, impresses you with their clothes or speaks the language that reminds you of home: Never hand out invites to the metaphorical black BBQ. If you have an actual and real outdoor chow session you’d like to have your co-worker attend, with certainty, let them into your cypher, allow them to see your world. But you speak for you, and you alone in doing that. Nothing is worse than a White person feeling like they have a lifetime Black BBQ invite. It creates a headache for the ones next in line to work with them. Why? Because it gives the illusion, that there is nothing left to learn, they have mastered diversity. And you can’t tell them nothing.

Oh. But I beg to differ. 👊🏾

8.4.20

Above, my earlier years in a professional environment. In my feels, on the regular, side eye emojis were being handed out left and right. I had so much to learn back then. Through my struggles, you can learn what I had to find out the hard way. I love her though. What a fighter. (But every cause, can’t be yours young lady.) I understand this now.